to get some damn Horseradish Cheese?! Seriously.
I am serious, who?
I have no idea what I’m going to write about, and yet I can already tell I am going to need to add a NSFW disclaimer. Although.. I am SURE if you have been paying any amount of attention – that probably should go without saying. Haha. But, just in case we have any newbies ..let me just slap that up there..alright annnnnd we are good.
It seems I’ve been coming to write here less and less. I should knock that off. So MANY things have happen in the last 6 months. Terribly bad things, and some incredibly enjoyable (and then some). So I think we should play “Catriona Catch up”, which for the record, is waaaaay different than “Catriona Ketchup”. That’s just a friendly FYI if you didn’t already know.
Alright, on with the Recap of how fucked Catriona’s life is! Hahahah. It’s not going to be very detailed, for the most part. I just feel we should all be on the same page here. lol.
So if you have been following me, and there are a lot of you that do (I see you), you know the month of February was life altering annnnnnnd I lost my face. And my head, and some other things I really need. My son’s other parent went into the ICU at the same time as one of my closest friends. Both were close to death. (Oh and my sister committed the ultimate betrayal.)
Then the months kind of blend together. Hell lived in my house, and my heart.
My friend went from losing a leg, to having two heart attacks, and several other potentially life ending situations, to a nursing home. It continues to be a “Fresh Hell” rollercoaster every day for him (and those who love him).
In April, April? Yeah April, no. Maybe May? I have no idea. Anyway, one of those months brought my mother the gift of Cancer, again. I was still on my face from February.
I dropped some weight. Lost my boobs. If anyone locates them, please return to the address labeled.
Also in June -I traveled to see my mother. She is dying. We’ve become closer than ever. She’s a mess, but we are dealing with it.
What else, what else…oh yeah…
OH, I threw my son a Minion party. It was a blast.
I wrapped water bottles in duct tape and made, sigh, twinkie (gack) minions. hahha. It was held outdoors. You know you did something right when every child goes home covered in mud from head to toe. lmao. My son love it.
hmmm what else happened in the last few months…
I learned the truth about bananas:
I think that’s all I got.
I think you are all caught up.. WAIT NO. THIS HAPPENED TO ME:
I, um. I love clowns I do. BUT WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!
FUCK. Now I have to go put up a Clown warning. .
Alright, I think we are done with the recap. HAHAHAH!
Also, I’m just going to leave this here:
Hope you all are well, LMAO.
Catriona
For the record, the clown lady hose beast? Is from a show called “Metalocalypse”. She is a backup performer for Dr. Rockso, a cartoon (though how far off can that be?) version of David Lee Roth. So. Watch the video. I can’t guarantee that all will be explained, but at least it’s some insight into what in the hell is up with the pompom hair tart clown.
Oh, Oh my. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
THANK YOU. I’m so happy someone knew what was going on.
Last time I felt like this I had just been through a Circus Funhouse. Rolling barrel/tunnel, mirrors, weird other, so’s your mother. Wonder how long till I feel “normal.” How did you spend the money? And–thanks!
I spent it on the person who gave it to me, what kind of sucker am I? HAHAHAHA!
Funny lady!!
lol. Maybe.
Always great to hear from you – but OMG that lady who isn’t a homosapiens! Well, she’s clearly correct ’cause “sapiens” has to do with INTELLIGENCE!!!
Ethel! I’m happy to hear from you too! How are you guys!?
(and I know, that sapien post killed me, dead, in a fit of laughter.)
Catriona, my love, if I were a cad, I would tell you that you had to sleep with me to get horseradish cheese. But I am not, and so I will tell you that I actually bought half a pound of it at the grocery store three blocks from my house and topped burgers with it, because a burger without horseradish is McDonald’s. Their deli sliced it off a brick about the size of Butte, Montana, so I’m pretty sure there isn’t a shortage, at least in suburban Cleveland. (And hoping that the niceness will get you to sleep with me anyway, ’cause that whole finishing last thing? That’s a load.)
Cleveland! I think I need you! HAHAH!
[…] Who do I have to sleep with…. (NSFW).. and um, Clown. I think.. […]
Awww, my weird buddy: I am sorry to hear about your Mom.
I am glad to see you here and back to posting again, though. Haven’t seen any boobs lying around. But, hey..have you seen any stray tentacles around? I’ve managed to lose a few as usual. They are not all accounted for…if not, no worries. I’ll just have to grow them back, and that is such a damned pain in the ass. You’d think I’d learn by now…apparently that won’t be possible, at my age. I’ve decided that since I just turned 50 that I officially don’t have to learn anymore…in fact I am now practicing to UNLEARN shit, on a daily basis…
No, I haven’t found any tentacles. However, my house cleaning skills are lacking these days, so I will keep an eye out.
UNLEARNING things. Gosh, I wish I could do that.
Keep an eye out for my boobs, and I will look for your tentacles. I’m glad we got each other’s back.
What’s a housecleaning skill?
DAMNIT. I was hoping you would know. Now we are both screwed.