Tag Archives: catriona

Oh I did it now

I reported to the Hospital around the same time Covid did. Since then, I have been the department Trainer as well as the shift manager. I work overnight, the only one in management is me. Shit goes sideways – it’s me that catches it before it hits the fan. I really enjoy my job, for the most part. I am sent in for tough patients (read: dementia, suicides, and just plain assholes). I respond to codes. I work with ICU and Trauma all night. My staff is pretty amazing and the people I work with are a different breed. Pretty proud to know them. Especially my House Sup (Read: God. She runs the hospital). I only hope to be like her when I grow up.

This week, I wrote my resignation. My intention was to hand it in and give notice in about a week. See, I love my job, but two members of upper management in my department are complete shit, homophobic garbage humans. Since I cannot be pressured and manipulated, and because I have morals I’m not of much use to them. The Hospital loves me and I nail my job every day, but because I will not intimidated and don’t tolerate abuse these two individuals and I have uh, we will say – have butted heads (read: I nuked and they got smacked by their management for their treatment of me which only expanded the target on my back). Up until now they didn’t effect me much. That all changed the min my Supervisor told me he was stepping down and one of the other Supervisors (described above) is who I’s be reporting to, permanently. I laughed in response. Nope. That’s not going to happen. I don’t need this job, and def don’t need to deal with a nefarious wanker with a god complex. My exact words to my Supervisor were: “I will shit in my hands and clap while singing the Song That Never Ends, naked in the Atrium before THAT happens.”

With that being said, I reported to the ICU last night as part of a responding team, like I do every night. The Charge Nurse (Head of the floor) said something to the effect of “I don’t know why you don’t just come work for the ICU” (I get this a lot for several different units, I just have never moved on it). I just laughed and said “You aren’t hiring, I looked” and kept working thinking nothing of it. She rounded on me, told me she wanted me in the ICU and marched my ass to her Director’s office. I didn’t even have a choice at that point. LOL. Thank the stars she wasn’t there. I was a sweaty gross mess. I had just responded to a stroke and 4 ICU patients, I was in no shape to be meeting any Director. Charge told me she would call me as soon as she returned. I thanked her and headed back towards my office still pretty stunned at what just happened.

On my way back to my office I stopped by House Supervisor. I consider her a friend and wanted her opinion. I asked her what she thought. The turn over rate in the ICU is high and I wanted to know if it was because of burn out, or because they treat their staff like crap. She told me what I figured she’d say. Our convo was cut short by a phone call so I made my way back to my office. About 20 mins later House Sup called me to tell me I had a meeting with the Director the next day (tonight). LOL. I swear I have no control of this thing. Hahaha. So, I’ve done it now, and I didn’t even mean to.

I have no idea what is happening. hahah.

Catriona

XOXOX

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Fuck Laundry!

Uh. wait. No. Not like that. I’ll just have to wash it again.

I have no issues washing cloths. But folding it and putting it way is just fucking stupid.

Ugh. Maybe I will hire a maid, but just for the laundry.

Ugh. My power just went out. My battery back up will only last for another 10 mins. Damn storm.

HA!! WAIT. I DON’T HAVE TO DO LAUNDRY NOW. Fuck yeah.

Catriona

XOXOX

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Let me read you this book…

Of course my kid would choose and get accepted to a private college, out of state.

Offfffff course it would cost 40k a year. Of course. Even with the college fund and my savings – it’s a four year program. sigh (that’s after the massive scholarship).

Maybe I should learn to make penis socks.

Stand on the corner maybe? I think I’m too old to get on the pole.

I never asked my kid’s bio father for child support. Man am I kicking myself now. Kidding. Fucking that.

Even if I kick the bucket right now, my life insurance would only cover two years of school. LOL

What if I start an OnlyFans of me sitting in the backyard reading aloud nineteenth-century literature? Because really I feel like that’s all I am capable of.

To the back yard I go!

Catriona

XOXOXO

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What is under your bed?

Books?

Dirty socks?

Porn?

Penis socks? OH MY STARS, IF IT ISSSSSS PENIS SOCKS I WANT TO SEEEEEEEEE!

Can you guess what’s under my bed?

Did you guess Ramen?

NO? Well you obviously don’t have kids pftttt.

This is parenting. Duh.

Catriona

XOXOXOX

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My cup brings all the boys to the yard

Ok. No. No, it doesn’t. And even if it did they would be unhappy when they got here.

But real talk – lookit this cup I found at the thrift store!

I think we paid $3.00 for it. I finally googled the signature after weeks of wondering where I could find another. Warmsssss my handssssssssss.

Turns out this is a piece from a company here in the US. Clay In Motion. It’s literally called the “Handwarmer Mug”. lol.

This is not paid advertising, hahah. I just realllly love this mug and they are a family owned company. We all know how I feel about that. So. Click here for their Amazon, click here for their Etsy (Don’t, go to to there actual site or Amazon. Etsy jacked their fees up so, understandably, prices are high over there), and here is their main site.

Cup for my fingers. That is all.

Catriona

XOXOXO

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Its where I keep the lightening

Yesterday, while talking to a dear friend, I was explaining what I do at work when she interrupted to say “I cannot figure out what you are made of”. Without even thinking about what she meant I blurted: “Sarcasm. I’m made of sarcasm. And caffeine. Oh and some dark clouds. It’s where I keep the lightening. And maybe a few plants. Yeah, plants.”

She laughed and said she thought maybe I was a Willow tree because I bend, but don’t ever break.

I think she gives me too much credit. She always does.

Today, speaking to my oldest friend he said to me: “You only survived me being a tornado because you were a bigger one.” I laughed so hard. Harder than I probably should have. But he was right. He only survived me because when tornadoes collide there really is no damage to the tornadoes themselves. They just rotate around one another until they eventually break free and go on their separate ways.

It’s funny how the Universe chooses to bring things to your attention.

Willow Trees & Tornadoes. That is all.

Catriona

XOXOXOX

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I glued myself to the cat

Uh. I don’t know how I did it. I’ve literally done this process a million times.

But, I did indeed glue myself to the cat.

sigh. How is everyone else’s Saturday? LOLOL

Catriona

XOXOXO

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Teenagers are the stuff of Nightmares

Don’t have kids.

Or do, but like, sell them off before they can talk. That’s what I should have done. (holy crap, I’m kidding, keep your pants on. Or ammmm I?)

This kid is sassy AND costing me an arm and a leg in school fees.

Raised my kids to reach for the stars and they did. Now I have to pay up . HAHAH

I may end up on the pole after all.

Catriona

XOXOXO

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WRONG TURN!

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm

I. Um. Well.

That moment you go read the blog of someone who liked your post, only to find that they, um. They must not be familiar with your blog. Like, this person must have just been randomly clicking to drum up their views because I can assure you from their page…..uh, they um. Would not like me. LMAO.

I clicked on their page and immediately was like “OOOOhhhhh I have taken a wrong turn. WRONG TURN!” lololol and then I thought “What the hell are YOU doing on my page?” Hahahah.

But, for the record all are safe here.

Well. I mean. If you are a pedo or a racist you aren’t, but everyone else for the most part. LOLOL.

So just as a reminder: #BLM #LoveIsLove #DontBeAnAssHole

Catriona

XOXOXO

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My Tea Cup Is Pissing Me Off

I’m killing time at Whole Foods. Spoiler Alert: I do not look like I belong here. lol

I have to go to the pet store annnnnnd it doesn’t open until 9am. My Poptart needs worms.

I am trying to be good and didn’t get coffee. I grabbed some Peach Ginger Pear Tea Weirdness and am sitting here trying to be patient. BUT MY TEA IS PISSING ME OFF. The bags have these cute little leafs instead of squares. BUT THEY ARE DRIPPING.

MY FUCKING LEAFS ARE DRIPPPPPPINGGGGGGG.

DRIPPPPPPPPPPINGGGGGGG

My stars, that picture is huge. Eh Screw it.

I guess I am off to get worms.

Catriona

XOXOXO

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