Monthly Archives: May 2022

Little blue bag of feelings

Grief is a weird thing. It looks different on everyone.

Recently, I lost a friend from work. She was an amazing human. Always had an answer and a smile. She was always helpful. Even when the pandemic made it hard to be.

I took it pretty hard. My better half must have known. Came home with a pretty blue bag filled with “The stages of grief”. It was literally a bag of pastries. Each one names after a stage. I laughed so hard.

I ate “Anger” for dinner that night, funny enough.

“Depression” was amazing. But, “Bargaining” , “Bargaining” couldn’t have been any better.

I guess what I am trying to say is get yourself a partner that will bring you a little blue bag of feelings when you’re sad. Hahahah.

Catriona

XOXOXOX

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My cup brings all the boys to the yard

Ok. No. No, it doesn’t. And even if it did they would be unhappy when they got here.

But real talk – lookit this cup I found at the thrift store!

I think we paid $3.00 for it. I finally googled the signature after weeks of wondering where I could find another. Warmsssss my handssssssssss.

Turns out this is a piece from a company here in the US. Clay In Motion. It’s literally called the “Handwarmer Mug”. lol.

This is not paid advertising, hahah. I just realllly love this mug and they are a family owned company. We all know how I feel about that. So. Click here for their Amazon, click here for their Etsy (Don’t, go to to there actual site or Amazon. Etsy jacked their fees up so, understandably, prices are high over there), and here is their main site.

Cup for my fingers. That is all.

Catriona

XOXOXO

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Its where I keep the lightening

Yesterday, while talking to a dear friend, I was explaining what I do at work when she interrupted to say “I cannot figure out what you are made of”. Without even thinking about what she meant I blurted: “Sarcasm. I’m made of sarcasm. And caffeine. Oh and some dark clouds. It’s where I keep the lightening. And maybe a few plants. Yeah, plants.”

She laughed and said she thought maybe I was a Willow tree because I bend, but don’t ever break.

I think she gives me too much credit. She always does.

Today, speaking to my oldest friend he said to me: “You only survived me being a tornado because you were a bigger one.” I laughed so hard. Harder than I probably should have. But he was right. He only survived me because when tornadoes collide there really is no damage to the tornadoes themselves. They just rotate around one another until they eventually break free and go on their separate ways.

It’s funny how the Universe chooses to bring things to your attention.

Willow Trees & Tornadoes. That is all.

Catriona

XOXOXOX

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Kid vs Metal Cactus

So. Mother’s day.

Imagine my confusion when I wake up to my Better Half describing a PUNCTURE WOUND surrounded by scratches in my kid’s arm. Better Half goes on to tell me that the night before the kid was at a friend’s and slipped. The arm is patched up, but looks deep. Goes on to tell me it was caused by a fall against metal cactus at the pool. Yeah, you read that correctly. I made better Half Half tell me twice because I thought for sure I’d smoked crack by mistake and was hearing word soup. Nope. Metal cactus by the pool.

All I could think of was allllllll the tetanus. All. Of. It.

I had so many questions.

I’m sorry, what? A real cactus would fuck up your day, but a metal one? That sounds like a great addition to a slippery area!! Fuck yeah, let’s put that bitch by the pool!! What? I. Ugh. How is that even pool themed?! What the actual hell. Who the actual fuck did that??

Needless to say I spent Mother’s day in Urgent care.  Stitches and a tetanus shot WOOOOO!

Kid 0 // Metal Cactus 1

Only my kid.

Catriona

XOXOXOX

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I glued myself to the cat

Uh. I don’t know how I did it. I’ve literally done this process a million times.

But, I did indeed glue myself to the cat.

sigh. How is everyone else’s Saturday? LOLOL

Catriona

XOXOXO

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Just a reminder

Do you know who @justteejay is? You should. Go. Go Now. Go now and look. I COMMAND IT.

She is the beautiful human that drew my Rabid Cupcake. LOOK!

Click HERE.

AND HERE.

AND HERE.

AND OH MY STARS HERE.

Doooooooo it! You will not be sorry. I don’t know how I convinced such a lovely human to be my friend, but thank the stars I did. I remember the first interaction and I remmeber thinking “Yup, that human. I don’t like humans, but I am keeping this one.”

Her artwork is life changing.

I swear to the stars, YOU BETTER GO LOOK! <—– Click there. This is one of the originals I am lucky enough to have in my possession. It’s even more beautiful in person.

Catriona

XOXOXOX

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Teenagers are the stuff of Nightmares

Don’t have kids.

Or do, but like, sell them off before they can talk. That’s what I should have done. (holy crap, I’m kidding, keep your pants on. Or ammmm I?)

This kid is sassy AND costing me an arm and a leg in school fees.

Raised my kids to reach for the stars and they did. Now I have to pay up . HAHAH

I may end up on the pole after all.

Catriona

XOXOXO

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WRONG TURN!

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm

I. Um. Well.

That moment you go read the blog of someone who liked your post, only to find that they, um. They must not be familiar with your blog. Like, this person must have just been randomly clicking to drum up their views because I can assure you from their page…..uh, they um. Would not like me. LMAO.

I clicked on their page and immediately was like “OOOOhhhhh I have taken a wrong turn. WRONG TURN!” lololol and then I thought “What the hell are YOU doing on my page?” Hahahah.

But, for the record all are safe here.

Well. I mean. If you are a pedo or a racist you aren’t, but everyone else for the most part. LOLOL.

So just as a reminder: #BLM #LoveIsLove #DontBeAnAssHole

Catriona

XOXOXO

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My Tea Cup Is Pissing Me Off

I’m killing time at Whole Foods. Spoiler Alert: I do not look like I belong here. lol

I have to go to the pet store annnnnnd it doesn’t open until 9am. My Poptart needs worms.

I am trying to be good and didn’t get coffee. I grabbed some Peach Ginger Pear Tea Weirdness and am sitting here trying to be patient. BUT MY TEA IS PISSING ME OFF. The bags have these cute little leafs instead of squares. BUT THEY ARE DRIPPING.

MY FUCKING LEAFS ARE DRIPPPPPPINGGGGGGG.

DRIPPPPPPPPPPINGGGGGGG

My stars, that picture is huge. Eh Screw it.

I guess I am off to get worms.

Catriona

XOXOXO

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Mouth Botulism

AAHAHAHAHAHAH. I am done for today. I. AM. SO. AMUSED.

So, earlier I was standing at my stove waiting for my water to boil while eating a left over quesadilla. I get this, like, shock to my entire jaw when I first bite into food. It’s so painful. It’s been that way as long as I can remember. Howevvvvvvver that’s not saying much as we all know my memory. Annnyyyyyywayyyyy. It suddenly hit me that maybe its not normal? LOL. Everyone feels like they’re getting punched in the face every time they eat, right? RIGHT?!

Turns out, nope. Nope, everyone does not feel like they are getting punch in the face when they eat. Ok, but that’s not the part that caught my attention (wait for it). So I looked it up. It’s called “first bite syndrome” (wait for it. Also, accurate naming doctor people, great job). It’s damage, usually as a complication to surgery, to the sympathetic innervation of the parotid gland leading to parasympathetic overactivity (waaaaaait for it). It can also be caused by tumors. Getting First bite syndrome is apparently very rare (wait for it). However, have no fear there are treatments!

THERE IT IS! BOTULINUM. hahahaha I’m dead. Offfff Course that’s that answer. That is enough of the interwebs for me.

XOXOXOX

Catriona

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