Category Archives: If you stole my phone..

What is under your bed?

Books?

Dirty socks?

Porn?

Penis socks? OH MY STARS, IF IT ISSSSSS PENIS SOCKS I WANT TO SEEEEEEEEE!

Can you guess what’s under my bed?

Did you guess Ramen?

NO? Well you obviously don’t have kids pftttt.

This is parenting. Duh.

Catriona

XOXOXOX

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Don’t be jelly

I’ve worked a full (overnight) shift and now have to drive 3 hours to bring my kid to prom. (PROM. You guys remember when this kid was just a wee thing right? Ahhhhhh!) Prom doesn’t quite look like I thought it would. But, I’m super proud regardless.

Pheonix has been following me around everywhere. She’s getting old. Aren’t we all. My kid will be 18 this year. I can’t believe it.

I’m off to clean out my car!

Have a great weekend everyone!

XOXOXO

Catriona

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Accidental Botox

If you have ever wondered what I would look like with actual botox: it’s not good. I got a sneak peak this week after having the pleasure of a root canal. They had to hit me so many times with numbing meds, they blew up my lip and face. It was hysterically awful. I then sauntered over to work. Couldn’t talk well, completely numb up to my eyebrow, it was a good time. One I will have the pleasure of enduring again in about a week as they couldn’t complete the procedure because the tooth was so jacked up. How do people do this more than once? Hell to the no thank you.

In other news snap chat has an amazing filter you should all try and then show me:

Go on. Don’t be shy.

Welp, that’s all I got. I don’t know what to do with myself now that I’m not a good candidate for botox. What ever shall I do? Lol

Catriona

Xoxoxo

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I should just write “Titties”.

Whoooooa. I didn’t expect the response I got from you all when I popped back on here. LOL. I opened my email, and my messages to such lovely notes. HUGS. Thank you for that. It was needed. Seriously.

Did anyone else read “Titties” when reading my last tittle? No? It’s just me? Oh well. Every time I see it I find myself thinking “My titties never match my content? What? Oh. HA. duh.”

For the love of coffee, the new format for WordPress and these “Blocks” shenanigans are rather annoying. I need to mess with it more because my stars is it pissing me off. Or, maybe it’s the lack of coffee. Yeah. It’s the lack of coffee.

Oh look a new block.

AND ANOTHER ONE!

“Type / to choose a block” BITCH WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!? Yeah. It’s definitely the lack of coffee.

Wait. Hold on. Maybe theses blocks and I can be friends; A few clicks and you guys can see all the weird shit in my google photos. Aren’t you lucky? hahah.

Alright. Well. I have to take one of the kids to the dentist. So, pants. I guess.

Catriona XOXOX

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My titles never match my content anyway

It’s crazy to think it’s only been the last two years that I can say my head and life are back in order. Looking back on some of my posts.. it’s crazy to see how long I’ve been gone (from here) and just how messy my brain was then.

I miss being here. I miss writing. I always mean to stop by even for a few mins. A few sentences. And with the exception of the last two years, I have drafts and drafts of entries I always meannnnn to publish. Lol.

I think I am going to try to set a goal to write more (in the open), because the last two years I’ve held down a business and a full time job. I’ve done nothing but those two things. I haven’t even been reading, no time. Just work and sleep.

Rushing in to catch up on all of you, I was shocked to see how many followers I’d lost. Like, really lost. Passed. I’m gutted I didn’t know. It makes sense, unfortunately, as you know: Covid. But that doesn’t make me feel any better about it.

I decided I needed to start reading again, no matter how busy I am. That’s how I ended up here. To catch up on all of you. There’s a lot of you, so it will take me a bit. I’m not as all over the place as I once was, you know, after (I forgot my own rules, do I tell you guys my spouse’s name? Lmao) died. So let’s hope I can keep my own attention long enough to get to all of you. Ahahah

Let’s do a photo dump for old times sake, see what’s in mah phone. Shall we?

Hahah. My phone is a weird place.

Hugs,

Catriona xoxox

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That is not the type of thing that shows up in an Autopsy.

Hi. OH. Are you wondering what I meant by my title? Yeah, me too. LOL. My brain has the tenancy to just populate random sentences. Half the time it even surprises me.

life is funny, you know? In the blink of an eye everything changes. I swear I blinked and my smiley, giggly toddler grew up to be a smiley teenager. TEENAGER. I own one of those? CRAP. I own one of those. I should be terrified. I should be, but I’m not. Denial? Maybe. Maybe I have faith that him and I can work through anything. Yeah. That is what it is.

I’ve been walking a lot. I know, you are all Surprised. 

Walking around here is always fascinating. You go from Cow Town, knee deep in grass, horses giving you the hairy eye-ball..from all directions..to suddenly… a huge town as far as the eye can see. I love how quite it is here.

Night time is one of my favorite times to walk.

There is only one street light for a while.

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The sky is my favorite possession. Even when it’s grey, or completely dark, it’s beauty shines through.

 

HOLY CRAP – My Facebook just alerted me to THIS:

Trump

If that is not just as terrifying as thereal Trump…….

OK internet. I am DONE for the day. Damn.

 

Take care guys!

Catriona

XOXOXOX

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Dumping Wednesday 

Ever feel like your phone is too HEAVY? Like you just need to flip it over and see what dumps out onto the floor? Yeah. Me too. 

Let’s see what would fall out of my phone if that was possible:

Oh! I just made this for dinner. This is a crunchy wrap. Filled with Avocado, rice, tomatoes, spinach, salsa, cheese, sautéed peppers and onions and whatever other leftovers I could find. So good. 

Ooooo! This one is a cute little Mom and Pop shop I found the other day. I love those! 

This is what it looked like yesterday when we went for a walk. Doooom! 

I’m “Medieval as fuck”, FYI. 

Yeah, I have a prescription… 

Ooo found this at the store the other day!! 

WhateverTheHellThisIs:




My app is mean to me:


LOL. I have some ridiculous stuff in my phone. It’s a good thing when I drop it, it isn’t actually capable of allowing all my weirdness fall out! 
Catriona 

OXOXOXOX

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Three Hells, It’s 4 am. Again.

You guys know I don’t sleep, right? Hahah.  I have no idea what to do with myself for the next hour so, I thought I would stop in and say helllloooooooo.

My hands are CRAZY itchy from handling a PANTLOAD of 80 year old photographs. Some of them I suspect, but have yet to confirm, are over 100 years old. Really, I should have been wearing gloves. I know, thank you for yelling at me through your screen. I heard you. But, seriously. Itchy. UGHHHHHHHH. You never know the things you are going to find when you are me. hahahah.

My son’s bookshelf couldn’t take the weight of the world (all of his books. Well not all. There are books everywhere) and collapsed. It’s death was not something we saw coming. So we are now walking around mountains of books, in several different rooms. Seriously. It’s a little ridiculous. What is also ridiculous is the rate in which my child devours books. And then wants to keep them… to read them again, and again. And by “ridiculous” I mean “just like his mother”. Damn genetics.

I really need to clean out my phone. The contents of my phone are like what you would imagine a toddler and a mad scientist sharing a desk and chair would be like. Yeah. That.

Lets see what’s in there. Shall we?

I’m just going to randomly grab some stuff and see what we get. Good thing I have no nudes. Of myself.

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Ha. Okay. I don’t even know where that one came from.

 

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Oh, that’s the sun set. Beautiful, no?

 

 

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Oh bloody hell. That’s awful. That was the LAST time I was sick. I was just about fully improved, but as you can see, I look like complete HELL from three weeks of some Being hovering over me in a black hood.

 

 

 

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Yeah. I don’t know. I also have no excuse.

 

 

 

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Truth. Always.

 

 

 

 

uni

And. Now, you know.

 

 

 

dbl

Yeah. Who the hell knows.

 

 

 

Alright, lets go with one more…..

 

 

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Oh. That’s a keeper. Don’t instruct your phone to take multiple photos of you while you are making a crazy face, or you end up looking like one of those chicks making the Duck Face. I fucking hate Duck Face. I love that it rhymes with “Fuck Face”. Any way, I was making a crazy face because my frelling shoulder was falling asleep and the damn cat wouldn’t move without threat of claws in the eyeball. Good thing you guys already know I am completely out of my mind. ha.

I think that’s good for now. hahaha

Love you all

Catriona

xoxoxox

 

 

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Fernando

I’ve got the worst headache,  EVER.

I’ve named him Fernando.

Fernando popped up around the time I started to deal with the lawyers,  and such.

It’s gotten to the point that I’m talking to him. Don’t worry,  I’m not hearing any answer, yet.

I’m  still awake because Fernando won’t shut up.

Let’s look through my phone and see if there’s anything that will take my mind of the horrid pain in my head, shall we?

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This is actually true. Hahah

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This one is also true.  Hahha.

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This just makes me laugh.

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That’s all for now.  Lol.
Fernando it picking at my eye.  So.  Ouch.  Sleep… Come. To.  Me.

Oxoxoxoxox
Catriona

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2pm madness

I’m watching Farscape  (if you don’t know what that is,  we can’t be friends any more), I can’t sleep (surprise!).

Thought I wouldn’t….. Damn,  I just lost track of my frame of thought. 

Oh! I remember now,  I thought I would stop and say hello.

Maybe take a dump. The photo kind.  Let’s see what weird stuff I have going on in my phone,  shall we?

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#true

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Took this last week.

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Did you know?

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Annnnd this

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Hahaha! OK. I’m done.. And tired.

Xoxoox
Catriona

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