Yeah, I get my gloss from the butt of a blue owl. Don’t judge me.
The first time I ever saw one of these was in a Pier 1. I remember being shocked; “Is the gloss in his BUTT?” I asked the cashier. She very quickly gave me a judgmental look and explained in a condescending tone that “she didn’t think so.”
Bitch lied.
My sister gave me one. If you want lip gloss – be prepared to be digging in his butt for it.
That’s all I got, Butt-Gloss.
Catriona
I don’t have much to say these days.
But, I do have photos.
“La tristesse durera toujours.” – Van Gogh
I have a habit of shoving things into my purse that don’t belong there.
hmmm. That sounds like I’m some sort of super klepto. Uh, let’s try that again.
When I find things around the house that I just don’t know what to do with.. or that I need to keep track of – I chuck them in my purse. My purse is the one thing, besides my child, that I always know the precise location of. Therefore I never misplace little things. You know what I mean – you find some little object THAT YOU NEED – but not right now – and then you stick it in that safe place so you wont lose it …annnd you never see it again. That doesn’t happen to me. What does happen to me – a purse full of weird, weird crap. Furby found his way in there once. Though I do suspect that was the doing of a devious small child. My purse in a scary place. You never know what you will be getting yourself into, goin’ in there.
Anyway. A while ago my son brought me two objects, at two different times, telling me that they needed to go into the bin of toys that we were selling. I couldn’t find the bin at the time. So into the purse they went. Until I reached in there yesterday to find my chapstick and pulled them out by mistake:
Captain Hook apparently loves a big pink cup of tea, now and then.
I have a purse pirate. Thought I’d share.
I’m still working on the accepting Awards, fyi. The issue is – every time I accept one and pass it on.. I get another. lol. I have like 4 or 5 still I have to acknowledge. That takes time, yo.
That’s all I got.
Catriona
Here we go again. It’s time for some more questions. If you have no idea what I am talking about – you should read this, yo.
Q: Dear Catriona, my girlfriend is an asshole. What should I do?
ANSWER:
A. Kick her in the junk.
B. Seriously?! You don’t know what to do?! Kick her ass to the CURB.
C. Hey, everyone has an asshole.
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Q: What’s you fav color?
ANSWER:
Roy. G. Biv.
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Q: What are you wearing?
ANSWER:
A. Flip flops, pants, the entrails of a cow and a car door.
B. Lip Gloss and a cow head.
C. Striped shirt, black pants, and a cow tongue around my neck.
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Q: What is your fav food?
ANSWER:
Cheddar Chipmunks
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Q: You are so funny. How come you don’t write more often?
ANSWER:
A. You see, I’m a very busy woman. I’ve been hookin’ it a lot lately. Good for the pocket. Bad for the blog.
B. My dog only lets me use the internet at certain times.
C. I wake up in the morning with a whole pantload of crazy things to write about, everyday. However, life has a way of throwing assholes and potholes in your way. So, when I bulldoze through the assholes and potholes – that’s when I write.
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Q: Here is my Question. You are an asshole.
ANSWER:
A.Yeah, sure am. Wait, what? HAHAH!
B. AHHAHAHAAHHAHAH. Yup that is a question. I very good one, yes it is. The answer is TOOL. You are are one. Get back in your box.
C. How old are you? I think I need to speak to your parents. Not because you swore at me. And not because you obviously have some displaced anger issues, but because this is such a good question.
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Q: If you had a magic genie and one wish – what would it be?
ANSWER:
A. NEVER trust a genie. EVER.
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Q: What do you do for fun?
ANSWER:
A. Pester you people.
B. Ax murdering. It soothes the soul.
C. I’m a geek.
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Yeah, I think that’s enough for now.
Catriona
I’m not a hugger. Like, at all.
Well. Wait that isn’t true. If you happen to be in the very small circle that is my close friends: I am a hugger.
But we aren’t talking about that.
We are talking about all of you creepers and stalkers, people that I just can’t get enough of, interwebbly.
I seriously would hug you all.
Well, except that one dude. You know who you are guy, and DAMN.
You guys rock my socks. Thank you – to all of you for your kind comments and E-mails. I never expected to get such a response. Never. My phone has been blowing up with E-mail alerts. I think my E-mail will be needing to take a personal day due to all the action it’s getting. .
To answer your questions: Even if I’m not alright at the moment – I will be. I always catch myself on the way down. Always.
You guys rock my socks. Hugs to all of you, weirdos.
❤ Catriona
I’m inspiring! *cough penis sock, cough cough*
A really wonderful blogger nominated me for this award. If you don’t read Ajaytao’s blog already, do it now. He’s such a wonderful person. His blog is beautiful. I can’t say enough about this guy – just read for yourself. Thank you Ajay!
To accept this award:
1. Acknowledge the person that nominated you and post the award on your blog.
2. Answer 7 things about yourself
3. Nominate 15 bloggers and Notify them.
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7 Things about me:
1. I have a bit of a thing for gasmasks.
2. I heart mushrooms.
3. My dog is better than your dog.
4. I’m cheating on the world with my computer.
5. I really need to reupholster my kitchen chairs.
6. My bum is numb.
7. I wish I had lemon for my water.
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15 Bloggers deserving of this award:
1. Belsbro
3. nelzzy
4. (empty, yo)
6. Desdemonad
7. skinnyuz2b
8. Rebel Sowell
10. Lucky Wreck
11. erin
12. hmch1
13. Silversound7
14. Julia Kovach
15. stephglaser
❤ Catriona
*Edit
Someone that I nominated specifically asked that I “de-consider” him. . So, I pulled his name per his request. .
CatrionaIsCrazy 
