Monthly Archives: July 2013

Butt – Gloss

Yeah, I get my gloss from the butt of a blue owl. Don’t judge me.

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The first time I ever saw one of these was in a Pier 1. I remember being shocked; “Is the gloss in his BUTT?” I asked the cashier. She very quickly gave me a judgmental look and explained in a condescending tone that “she didn’t think so.”

Bitch lied.

My sister gave me one. If you want lip gloss – be prepared to be digging in his butt for it.

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That’s all I got, Butt-Gloss.

Catriona

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My Storm

I don’t have much to say these days.

But, I do have photos.

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“La tristesse durera toujours.” – Van Gogh

 

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Big ol’ pink cup of tea

I have a habit of shoving things into my purse that don’t belong there.

hmmm. That sounds like I’m some sort of super klepto. Uh, let’s try that again.

When I find things around the house that I just don’t know what to do with.. or that I need to keep track of – I chuck them in my purse. My purse is the one thing, besides my child, that I always know the precise location of. Therefore I never misplace little things. You know what I mean – you find some little object THAT YOU NEED – but not right now – and then you stick it in that safe place so you wont lose it …annnd you never see it again. That doesn’t happen to me. What does happen to me – a purse full of weird, weird crap. Furby found his way in there once. Though I do suspect that was the doing of a devious small child. My purse in a scary place. You never know what you will be getting yourself into, goin’ in there.

Anyway. A while ago my son brought me two objects, at two different times, telling me that they needed to go into the bin of toys that we were selling. I couldn’t find the bin at the time. So into the purse they went. Until I reached in there yesterday to find my chapstick and pulled them out by mistake:

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Captain Hook apparently loves a big pink cup of tea, now and then.

I have a purse pirate. Thought I’d share.

I’m still working on the accepting Awards, fyi. The issue is – every time I accept one and pass it on.. I get another. lol. I have like 4 or 5 still I have to acknowledge. That takes time, yo.

That’s all I got.

Catriona

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Ask Catriona II, uh wait – III?..hell if I know.

Here we go again. It’s time for some more questions. If you have no idea what I am talking about – you should read this, yo.

Q: Dear Catriona, my girlfriend is an asshole. What should I do?

ANSWER:

A. Kick her in the junk.

B. Seriously?! You don’t know what to do?! Kick her ass to the CURB.

C. Hey, everyone has an asshole.

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Q: What’s you fav color?

ANSWER:

Roy.  G.  Biv.

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Q: What are you wearing?

ANSWER:

A. Flip flops, pants, the entrails of a cow and a car door.

B. Lip Gloss and a cow head.

C. Striped shirt, black pants, and a cow tongue around my neck.

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Q: What is your fav food?

ANSWER:

Cheddar Chipmunks

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Q: You are so funny. How come you don’t write more often?

ANSWER:

A. You see, I’m a very busy woman. I’ve been hookin’ it a lot lately. Good for the pocket. Bad for the blog.

B. My dog only lets me use the internet at certain times.

C. I wake up in the morning with a whole pantload of crazy things to write about, everyday. However, life has a way of throwing assholes and potholes in your way. So, when I bulldoze through the assholes and potholes – that’s when I write.

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Q: Here is my Question. You are an asshole.

ANSWER:

A.Yeah, sure am. Wait, what? HAHAH!

B. AHHAHAHAAHHAHAH. Yup that is a question. I very good one, yes it is. The answer is TOOL. You are are one. Get back in your box.

C. How old are you? I think I need to speak to your parents. Not because you swore at me. And not because you obviously have some displaced anger issues, but because this is such a good question.

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Q: If you had a magic genie and one wish – what would it be?

ANSWER:

A. NEVER trust a genie. EVER.

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Q: What do you do for fun?

ANSWER:

A. Pester you people.

B. Ax murdering. It soothes the soul.

C. I’m a geek.

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Yeah, I think that’s enough for now.

Catriona

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We’ve got a bleeder!

I’m not a hugger. Like, at all.

Well. Wait that isn’t true. If you happen to be in the very small circle that is my close friends: I am a hugger.

But we aren’t talking about that. 

We are talking about all of you creepers and stalkers, people that I just can’t get enough of, interwebbly.

I seriously would hug you all.

Well, except that one dude. You know who you are guy, and DAMN.

You guys rock my socks. Thank you – to all of you for your kind comments and E-mails. I never expected to get such a response. Never. My phone has been blowing up with E-mail alerts. I think my E-mail will be needing to take a personal day due to all the action it’s getting. .

To answer your questions:  Even if I’m not alright at the moment – I will be. I always catch myself on the way down. Always.

You guys rock my socks. Hugs to all of you, weirdos.

❤ Catriona

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Very Inspiring Blogger Award

I’m inspiring!  *cough penis sock, cough cough*

A really wonderful blogger nominated me for this award. If you don’t read Ajaytao’s blog already, do it now. He’s such a wonderful person. His blog is beautiful. I can’t say enough about this guy – just read for yourself.  Thank you Ajay!

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To accept this award:

1. Acknowledge the person that nominated you and post the award on your blog.

2. Answer 7 things about yourself

3. Nominate 15 bloggers and Notify them.

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7 Things about me:

1. I have a bit of a thing for gasmasks.

2. I heart mushrooms.

3. My dog is better than your dog.

4. I’m cheating on the world with my computer.

5. I really need to reupholster my kitchen chairs.

6. My bum is numb.

7. I wish I had lemon for my water.

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15 Bloggers deserving of this award:

1. Belsbro

2. Ethel and Everett Go RVing

3. nelzzy

4. (empty, yo)

5. Captain Erratic

6. Desdemonad

7. skinnyuz2b

8. Rebel Sowell

9.The Existential Baker

10. Lucky Wreck

11. erin

12.  hmch1

13. Silversound7

14. Julia Kovach

15. stephglaser

❤ Catriona

 

*Edit

Someone that I nominated specifically asked that I “de-consider” him. . So, I pulled his name per his request. .

 

 

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