Monthly Archives: March 2018

Bathroom Explosion

I wrote this in September 2017 right after we were rocked by a Hurricane. Something I’m sure I will share, eventually.
Don’t run away! It’s not that kind. Wrong end, really.
I took a walk the other night to get catfood after the storm. Wal-Mart is a scary place after a certain time. It’s also more quiet. Something I rather enjoy if I’ve got to brave Wal-Mart.
I grabbed the catfood and sorta just browsed. I came to the Bathroom linens and accessories. In my head I said “Oh, ok well while I’m here maybe I will look at what colors I’d like the new bathroom to be.” and then, it was all down hill from there.
“Oh, look at that color. That’s pretty. I really like that. Oh, but it reminds me of the time we (my wife and I) painted the master bathroom that color. Nope.”

I moved on.
“Oh, this is a nice red. I could get.. No, that reminds me of the master bathroom again.”

I moved on.
“OH black and white. That would be easy! I have all the… Annnnd that reminds me of when we had zebra print in the bathroom… And that one rouge zebra towel I could never get rid of.

I moved on.
“Fuck Purple.”

I moved on.
“Grey is pretty. Two shades of grey and maybe.. Nope. Fuck. That reminds me of my master bathroom. It was Dark grey, as were the towles at one point. Fuck.”

I moved on.
“Coral! That doesn’t remind me of anything!… Except. How ugly coral is. Damnit.”

I moved on.
“This is starting to get ridic….Orange! Orange. It’s not the most calming of colors… But I can deal with that. Throw some abstract Art up and… Crap. And it reminds me of the Cocopelli theme we once had in the master bathroom.”

I moved on.
“That’s ugly. Nope. Nope. Fuck pink. Nope. That’s ugly too. NOPE NOT THAT ONE EITHER. WHY DID WE CHANGE OUR BATHROOM THEME SO OFTEN?! WHO DOES THAT?! I’M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO DECORATE MY BATHROOM EVER AGIAIN!” annnnd I burst into tears. At Wal-Mart. At 12am. At 12am I became a Person of Wal-Mart. Fuuuuuuckkkkkk.
In my defense, I hadn’t slept in days due to the storm. I’d been up well over 48 hours and eaten very little (and, really now that I think of it… We did change the color and theme of the bathroom frequently.. Lmao)
So I’m leaning against the shelf, catfood in hand, in tears…. And suddenly the realization that I’m CRYING IN WAL-MART ABOUT MY BATHROOM DECOR hits me. I start to laugh out loud, hysterically. Like, crazy laugh. I know you know what I mean. Then I realize anyone watching just watched me go from crying to laughing like an idiot. I laugh even harder because I’m now a Person of Wal-Mart. Bahahahahahah.
I finally got my shit together and left the aisel… Not before looking over to see 3 young guys staring….. Yep, I’m the seemingly crazy Cat Lady at Wal-Mart. Yep, that’s now me. Great.
I continued to laugh like a hyena to the cash register. Fuck it.

I didn’t finish this… But, do I really need to?

Catriona

Oxoxoxo

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Found this in my drafts.

Apparently, I wrote this last August. I never finished it, but WordPress kept it safe for me. Lol! It’s not finished. But, you’re getting it anyway.

The last few days have been filled with memories that hit me like flash floods.

We found a little deli weeks ago, but just couldn’t seem to catch it while it was open. A rather common occurrence when you live in the middle of Cow Town.

Yesterday, we came back from a day trip to find the little Deli open. I ordered a veggie sub (I’m from New England; large sandwiches will always be “Subs”). I bit into it and the taste transported me back to my beautiful mountains. The smell of my favorite trees. It brought me back to a time when things were just as complicated, but some how it seemed a bit simpler. The sound of crunchy, bright colored leaves returned to my ears. I was a kid again, surrounded by all my favorite things. It was completely nuts. I’ve lived away from New England for the better part of a Decade and never once found anything close to our subs. Not that I was looking. Apparently, I should have been.

Today, I was sitting in a little restaurant having breakfast when I bit into home fries that reminded me of breakfast with my Wife. Every Wednesday we would drop our son off at school and go eat at this little cozy restaurant right down the street. It was always the same breakfast, and the same waitress. I eventually tired of the breakfast, and the coffee I swear declined the longer we went but I never tired of the fact that my wife WANTED to go. Wanted to be there, and wanted to be out of the house… at a time nothing else would move her from bed.

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