Category Archives: My gift to you

Droping hints

For my birthday a few years ago my kid and my wife got me thirsty stone coasters. They were fitting because they had little sayings on them that sounded JUST like the things I tell (read “would yell at”) my family.

two days in a row I have found that the one I keep under my water on my bedside table has been placed on my sides of the bed. .

Think she’s trying to tell me something? hahahaha. I’m dead.

Guess I need to check in with my wife. BAHAHAHAHA!!!

Catriona

xoxoxox

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Suck my Prius

I own an obnoxiously colored older Toyota Prius. Seriously. We chose the car make, model, and year based on the fact that the kid would be driving it. The safety ratings were amazing – basically the little car turns into a little bubble on impact. The gas mileage was the other thing. I fully intended to give the car to my kid for college and since I am requesting no job the first year, I am footing the bill for gas. lol.

We bought the car with a lot of miles on it. I didn’t care because it was just meant to be the Kid’s first car, and everything that we read said that a prius would last longer than the average car so I wasn’t worried. It wasn’t expensive. Again, it was just supposed to the the family car for my mini me to learn how to drive and then I’d give the car to the kid and get one we really wanted….

But after this road Trip — I don’t know if I can give it up! Hahahah this thing handled my wife’s heavy foot, HEAVVVVY FOOT, climbed mountain roads (looking back were suchhhh a bad idea). It banged through several rocky parks and remote areas. We drove from Florida to South Carolina, then to camp in the Great Smokey Mountains. From there we went all the way through TN, down to New Orleans, on to New Mexico and the Arizona. Keep in mind we stopped in several towns in each state all within a two week time frame. We beat the crap out of this little car and it never once let us down. We then turned around and drove back. This thing is a machine. I can’t tell you how impressed I am. I may, no I probably will, buy another Prius. Plus. I cannot tell you how amusing it is to watch the wife speed by sports cars in a obnoxious tiny car yelling “SUCK MY PRIUS!” when someone fliped her off. BAHAHHAA.

I will have an entry coming about the trip coming soon. Getting back to work and such was harder than I thought it was going to be. lol. Check out my Twitter and Facebook for a few photos and such. I was live updating there.

xoxoxo

Catriona

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My cup brings all the boys to the yard

Ok. No. No, it doesn’t. And even if it did they would be unhappy when they got here.

But real talk – lookit this cup I found at the thrift store!

I think we paid $3.00 for it. I finally googled the signature after weeks of wondering where I could find another. Warmsssss my handssssssssss.

Turns out this is a piece from a company here in the US. Clay In Motion. It’s literally called the “Handwarmer Mug”. lol.

This is not paid advertising, hahah. I just realllly love this mug and they are a family owned company. We all know how I feel about that. So. Click here for their Amazon, click here for their Etsy (Don’t, go to to there actual site or Amazon. Etsy jacked their fees up so, understandably, prices are high over there), and here is their main site.

Cup for my fingers. That is all.

Catriona

XOXOXO

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Accidental Botox

If you have ever wondered what I would look like with actual botox: it’s not good. I got a sneak peak this week after having the pleasure of a root canal. They had to hit me so many times with numbing meds, they blew up my lip and face. It was hysterically awful. I then sauntered over to work. Couldn’t talk well, completely numb up to my eyebrow, it was a good time. One I will have the pleasure of enduring again in about a week as they couldn’t complete the procedure because the tooth was so jacked up. How do people do this more than once? Hell to the no thank you.

In other news snap chat has an amazing filter you should all try and then show me:

Go on. Don’t be shy.

Welp, that’s all I got. I don’t know what to do with myself now that I’m not a good candidate for botox. What ever shall I do? Lol

Catriona

Xoxoxo

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I should just write “Titties”.

Whoooooa. I didn’t expect the response I got from you all when I popped back on here. LOL. I opened my email, and my messages to such lovely notes. HUGS. Thank you for that. It was needed. Seriously.

Did anyone else read “Titties” when reading my last tittle? No? It’s just me? Oh well. Every time I see it I find myself thinking “My titties never match my content? What? Oh. HA. duh.”

For the love of coffee, the new format for WordPress and these “Blocks” shenanigans are rather annoying. I need to mess with it more because my stars is it pissing me off. Or, maybe it’s the lack of coffee. Yeah. It’s the lack of coffee.

Oh look a new block.

AND ANOTHER ONE!

“Type / to choose a block” BITCH WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!? Yeah. It’s definitely the lack of coffee.

Wait. Hold on. Maybe theses blocks and I can be friends; A few clicks and you guys can see all the weird shit in my google photos. Aren’t you lucky? hahah.

Alright. Well. I have to take one of the kids to the dentist. So, pants. I guess.

Catriona XOXOX

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My titles never match my content anyway

It’s crazy to think it’s only been the last two years that I can say my head and life are back in order. Looking back on some of my posts.. it’s crazy to see how long I’ve been gone (from here) and just how messy my brain was then.

I miss being here. I miss writing. I always mean to stop by even for a few mins. A few sentences. And with the exception of the last two years, I have drafts and drafts of entries I always meannnnn to publish. Lol.

I think I am going to try to set a goal to write more (in the open), because the last two years I’ve held down a business and a full time job. I’ve done nothing but those two things. I haven’t even been reading, no time. Just work and sleep.

Rushing in to catch up on all of you, I was shocked to see how many followers I’d lost. Like, really lost. Passed. I’m gutted I didn’t know. It makes sense, unfortunately, as you know: Covid. But that doesn’t make me feel any better about it.

I decided I needed to start reading again, no matter how busy I am. That’s how I ended up here. To catch up on all of you. There’s a lot of you, so it will take me a bit. I’m not as all over the place as I once was, you know, after (I forgot my own rules, do I tell you guys my spouse’s name? Lmao) died. So let’s hope I can keep my own attention long enough to get to all of you. Ahahah

Let’s do a photo dump for old times sake, see what’s in mah phone. Shall we?

Hahah. My phone is a weird place.

Hugs,

Catriona xoxox

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Guacamole Cops

So, I’m in the car, right, and I’m talking and blah blah blah, and alllll of a sudden I have the urge to look down. So, I do (duh). What do I see? A weird ass grease spot looking at me. 

The HellllllLLLL is THAT? I wasn’t eating, we had been in the car for about an hour. No drinks, nothing leaked. Nothing.  Where the hell this thing came from, I have no idea. 

So I named it “Amy”. 

Amy didn’t appreciate how long we were in the car. She didn’t like the lack of coffee that was going on. She had a real issue with little guys in big trucks with ball sacks hanging off the back. She had a lotttttt to say about those… She was super mouthy. Like,  for real. She was a real thorn in the driver’s side. She had this accent that no one could figure out, and she swore like a trucker. 

It got to the point that I had to ask her to leave. She refused. I threatened. I tried to physically remove Amy, but my attempts were thwarted. 

Finally, I stuck an oversided Bambi sticker over her face (regrettablely, I didn’t get a photo) and we went about our day. Worked like a charm! Remind me to get more of those. 

I’d forgotten all about her until later when I went to do the laundry. There she was, glaring at me, the Bitch. So I shoved her ass into the washer (not before assaulting her with some heavy duty Amy Remover), annnnd I haven’t heard from her since. Now granted, I’ve been too lazy to go back into the laundry room… Bitch better be gone by the time I walk back in there! 

In an unrelated note: guacamole chips (auto correct wanted me to say “Guacamole Cops“, the helllll is THAT?), are addicting and I’m currently looking for a support group. Anyone have any suggestions? 

Catriona

XOXOXOXO

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Dumping Wednesday 

Ever feel like your phone is too HEAVY? Like you just need to flip it over and see what dumps out onto the floor? Yeah. Me too. 

Let’s see what would fall out of my phone if that was possible:

Oh! I just made this for dinner. This is a crunchy wrap. Filled with Avocado, rice, tomatoes, spinach, salsa, cheese, sautéed peppers and onions and whatever other leftovers I could find. So good. 

Ooooo! This one is a cute little Mom and Pop shop I found the other day. I love those! 

This is what it looked like yesterday when we went for a walk. Doooom! 

I’m “Medieval as fuck”, FYI. 

Yeah, I have a prescription… 

Ooo found this at the store the other day!! 

WhateverTheHellThisIs:




My app is mean to me:


LOL. I have some ridiculous stuff in my phone. It’s a good thing when I drop it, it isn’t actually capable of allowing all my weirdness fall out! 
Catriona 

OXOXOXOX

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Hold on to your trousers; I’m BACK!

After almost a year long hiatus, I’m BACK!

 

guess-whos-back_o_164428

You guys don’t know how much I have missed you. Without you I have had no place for my useless rambling to go! HA. Except at those in my direct vicinity. Heh. You’errrrrr Welcome, guys….

While I have stumbled back in the door here like some drunkin’ Salor,  HhhheeeeyyyyyYYYYYYY, I’ve also revived my twitter. So, STALK ME. 

HOW ARE YOU ALL? TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL MMMMEEEEE!

Just a quick update – Don’t worry. I will be Bach.

Catriona

XOXOXO

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I am going to get arrested. 

I have lovingly named my tool of a next door neighbor “Sir Washed up Douch Bag”.  

Why?  Because Sir Douch is a retired cop in his 50’s who’s got an authority stick shoved so far up his ass that he cannot see past his Holier Than thou infested head.  As a result,  he thought it appropriate to scream and yell threats as well as vulgarities at my son. My son had done nothing  wrong.  Yeahhhh… I’m sure you can guess how that ended: I bolted from the screen porch I was watching from and was in front of Sir Douch within seconds; shut him down just as fast. His final threat being he was going to call the cops on me. I rebutted that I was already on the phone with the police (partially true). That left him staring at me for a second and then retreating.  

About 5 mins later I hear my door,  and guess who it is?  Sir Douch and Mrs. Douch.  He wanted to speak to my son. He was told to stay the hell away from my son.  He wanted me to know that he could still call the police.  I smiled real big,  leaned against the door,  and attempted to hand him my phone:”I think you should,  here you go.” Apparently my evil laughter upset his plans of scaring me,  and he and Mrs. Douch stormed off my porch.  

Now,  when he walks by he won’t even look at me because he tried the whole “intimate the woman with a mean stare” thing… aaaand found out I’m better at it.  That doesn’t keep him from glaring/staring at anyone on my porch. 

If he attempts at talking to my son again, I will surely be arrested. 

Don’t be a Washed Up Douch Bag, Internet. It gets you no where. 

Alright,  time for a dump.  Let’s see what we have.  Ready? 

This one I swear must be true:

Can I just say this one looks like a good time? 

Saw this tonight at Walmart. More disturbing than Walmart itself.  What in Hezmana is that?! 

Also found at Walmart today.  Seriously?? 

Since I brought them home they haven’t gotten along… At all… So,  when I walked into my room to see this… Shear terror. They must be plotting against us… I’m scared.  

I make the best Squash Lasagna! 

I’d apologize for this next one,  but it was one of you fools who sent this to me.  Hahaha ha! 

Seriously,  can someone tell me what in three Hells is going on here?!?!?! 

I will not apologize:

… Um… HAHAHAHAH A! 

Oh dear,  the crap you can find in my phone… Let’s go for one more:

Annnnnd I’m done.  Hahah.  

Until next time.  Love you all! 

Catriona 

XOXO

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