Tag Archives: Tools

Ask Catriona II, uh wait – III?..hell if I know.

Here we go again. It’s time for some more questions. If you have no idea what I am talking about – you should read this, yo.

Q: Dear Catriona, my girlfriend is an asshole. What should I do?

ANSWER:

A. Kick her in the junk.

B. Seriously?! You don’t know what to do?! Kick her ass to the CURB.

C. Hey, everyone has an asshole.

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Q: What’s you fav color?

ANSWER:

Roy.  G.  Biv.

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Q: What are you wearing?

ANSWER:

A. Flip flops, pants, the entrails of a cow and a car door.

B. Lip Gloss and a cow head.

C. Striped shirt, black pants, and a cow tongue around my neck.

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Q: What is your fav food?

ANSWER:

Cheddar Chipmunks

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Q: You are so funny. How come you don’t write more often?

ANSWER:

A. You see, I’m a very busy woman. I’ve been hookin’ it a lot lately. Good for the pocket. Bad for the blog.

B. My dog only lets me use the internet at certain times.

C. I wake up in the morning with a whole pantload of crazy things to write about, everyday. However, life has a way of throwing assholes and potholes in your way. So, when I bulldoze through the assholes and potholes – that’s when I write.

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Q: Here is my Question. You are an asshole.

ANSWER:

A.Yeah, sure am. Wait, what? HAHAH!

B. AHHAHAHAAHHAHAH. Yup that is a question. I very good one, yes it is. The answer is TOOL. You are are one. Get back in your box.

C. How old are you? I think I need to speak to your parents. Not because you swore at me. And not because you obviously have some displaced anger issues, but because this is such a good question.

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Q: If you had a magic genie and one wish – what would it be?

ANSWER:

A. NEVER trust a genie. EVER.

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Q: What do you do for fun?

ANSWER:

A. Pester you people.

B. Ax murdering. It soothes the soul.

C. I’m a geek.

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Yeah, I think that’s enough for now.

Catriona

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