Tag Archives: Love life

My penis can’t hear you

I think I’ve eaten way too many Jolly ranchers. Whoa.

So, does anyone else find it interesting that I received these spammy messages about Viagra  on a post entitled “BRING ON THE CHLAMYDIA!“….? Notice the comment is attached to a picture of a stuffed STD.

Clap

Good game spammers, good game.

Speaking of which –  WHY do I ALWAYS get sexual spam meant for dudes? Why? I want sexual chick spam, gosh darn it! If you are going to spam me, appeal to vagina! My penis can’t hear you. Trust me.

Also, I just learned something I’d like to share with all of you. A few of you in particular. Read carefully because it’s important and rather apparent from some of the messages I get that you guys didn’t know this particular shred of info either.

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My grandmother asked me what I wanted for xmas as I was leaving her house yesterday. I was headed out the front door at the time and just sorta turned back to yell that I wanted an STD or two, and that I would send her the website for them when I got a chance. As I turned back to continue I almost ran over the postman who was apparently about to knock on the door. He had this look on his face like he was going to die right on the spot. I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders and kept walking. I heard my gram greet him and laugh “That’s my granddaughter. She’s special you know.”

I’m pretty sure that guy was thinking the exact same thing, grams.

Catriona

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We’ve got a bleeder!

I’m not a hugger. Like, at all.

Well. Wait that isn’t true. If you happen to be in the very small circle that is my close friends: I am a hugger.

But we aren’t talking about that. 

We are talking about all of you creepers and stalkers, people that I just can’t get enough of, interwebbly.

I seriously would hug you all.

Well, except that one dude. You know who you are guy, and DAMN.

You guys rock my socks. Thank you – to all of you for your kind comments and E-mails. I never expected to get such a response. Never. My phone has been blowing up with E-mail alerts. I think my E-mail will be needing to take a personal day due to all the action it’s getting. .

To answer your questions:  Even if I’m not alright at the moment – I will be. I always catch myself on the way down. Always.

You guys rock my socks. Hugs to all of you, weirdos.

❤ Catriona

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