Tag Archives: laughter

You better watch it, or she’ll deck you.

(For the record, I haven’t actually decked anyone in a long time. I think.)

 

Do you remember the Humpy-the-Post-office-Guy? (if not, click here)  Wellllll……I went into the post office the other day. (HAHHAH.) It’s too bad there was only a few people in there. So I get up to the counter, and the Teller points at me and says something to the other tellers that I didn’t catch.  (I by the way, had forgotten about Humpy, momentarily) All the tellers get this HUGE smile on their faces and BURST into laughter. One of them yells “You better not stand too close, or she’ll deck you.” This went right over my head:

Me -Huh?

TellerYou don’t remember that?

MeThreatening to deck someone? No. 

Teller That guy the other day. 

MeOH. That guy. Yeah. He was humping my leg. 

 

By this time one of the Tellers disappeared and reappeared with the Post Master who was laughing so hard I thought he was going to split.his.pants. 

 

PMYou know you were the talk of the whole office. 

MeOh?

PM -Yeah! But, really that guy is hard of hearing.

Me –Um, ok, but he was standing so close to me I could feel his gender. 

PM & TellersOHHHHHHHH we didn’t know that. 

Me –Uh, yeah, and I had moved away several times, even offered for him to cut me in line, yet he continued. 

PMOH we had no idea. 

Me –  Yeah, and I am pretty sure him leaning in to whisper in my ear, so close that he is touching me, has nothing to do with his deafness. 

PM & Tellers – OH! (weird silence)

Me – Yeah. Anyway, I’ll see you guys soon, and we will see who else I can yell at!

The entire post office erupts in laughter. 

 

BTW – a woman in line butted in to say how she would have kicked his ass. UM, NO. We don’t beat on the elderly. We reprimand them. Stupid chick.

Hell, when I’m that old, I will be copping a feel. I just hope I will still have the ability to acknowledge a hint at that age.

 

Photo dump time!

Theses are from the other day. I went for a really long walk.

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Have I mentioned I like abandoned buildings ?

 

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Catriona

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Coulrophobia and Honey Holes (Caution: Clowns ahead)

Can you say the word “Coulrophobia”?

Cuzz I can’t. Nope.

I can read it, I can spell it, I even know what it means! Buttttt I cannot verbalize it with out sounding like I just woke up, still drunk from a hot-mess-of-a-week-long-binge.

If you are unfamiliar with the the word; it’s an extreme fear of Clowns. I can’t tell you the statistics on Coulrophobia (I can tell you that Auto correct doesn’t like the word at all. Maybe it suffers from Coulrophobia?… ), but I can tell you more often than not – people react negativity when faced with even the image of a clown. I should know, my childhood bedroom was completely covered, right down to the bedspread, in clowns. (That bedspread had ruffles, like, A LOT of ruffles, btw. I friggen hated ruffles,  but somehow is was totally ok because it was clown themed.) Reactions are fascinating, especially to clowns. More people went running in terror from my childhood bedroom then they do now. hahaha. . and that’s saying something.. Bahahahahah…

Is it just me, or are more people getting rid of more clown stuff, at a faster rate, than they ever used to? I looooove thrift shops, and I have to say I have seen more second hand clown items pop up in shops within the last year, then EVER before. I look for clown stuff…so, yeah, I’d know. Hhahahaha It’s too bad I don’t decorate with clown items as much as I used to. haha.

Side note* –  have you ever been writing at your desk, just mindlessly jamming out to a random song, when alllllll of a sudden you realize the lyrics of said song are a grown man purring about “licking a loli pop” annnnnnnnd you come to a FULL stop? No? Well, that just happen to me. haa. I hate when lyrics kill a perfectly good beat.

Clowns are all over these days.  The Northampton Clown has a book out (wow), and there’s some gun wielding clown now (I’m not surprised, are you?), and that’s not even the half of it. I confess.. I just can’t get enough. I recently stumbled upon darkclowns.blogspot.com, crazy interesting. All sorts of tid bits that will make you wanna pee your pants (if you suffer from Coulrophobia that is). Ha…..

Oh my stars! I have to interrupt this crazy Clown rambling to tell you that I have been on the phone with my boss for almost 20 mins, and within those 20 mins she has used the phrase “Honey Hole” AT LEASE 7 times, YES I was counting, and OH MY STARS IT HAS TAKEN ALL I HAVE NOT TO BURST INTO LAUGHTER. BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! She just said it again! BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH! Does she not hear herself?! OMG someone please, PLEASE send this woman a link to Urban Dictionary, STAT! I am trying so, SO hard to keep a straight face and serious tone. BAHAHAHAHAHAH! She Just said it again. IS SHE MESSING WITH ME?! She has got to be messing with me. AHAHAHAHAHA! Holy CRAP BATMAN! She actually just uttered the sentence: “Well, we are all after the Honey Hole” OMG SERIOUSLY?! Is she drunk? She’s got to be drunk! FUCK, AM I DRUNK?! I cannot take it. She is as serious as she could be, just working that into the convo. I have a whole new respect for this chick. “It’s my job to help you find your Honey Hole.” OH, OH wow. No joke, that was just said to me. I have spent this whole convo with my hand clamped firmly over my mouth trying, desperately, not to laugh in her eye. Oh man, I’m so glad that’s over. ahaha wow. Just, wow.

I want to take this time to thank my bladder. Thank you bladder, for being stronger than I give you credit for. I surely would have peed myself, had you been as weak as I tell people you are. For realz. Peed. Myself. In. Laughter. So, thank you blatter for being there for me. I’ll try to treat you better going forward.

I am completely in awe of that convo, and am unable to continue to ramble about Clowns. HAHHA. I cannot even go back and proof read. You will have to just. Deal.

BAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Honey Hole!

Catriona

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