Tag Archives: gifts

Free Porn is having a hard time loading my page.

Um. What the hell did I just write?

 

free pornFree Porn is having a hard time loading my page.

I’m sorry Free Porn. I’m not sure why you, of all people, are having an issue loading my page. I hope you really did check back later. I also hope you aren’t having any more loading issues.

We’re still pals tho, right?

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HELLO PEOPLE! How are all you loopy fuckers?!

It’s been crazy at my house. Been workin’ an junk. That and, you know, screwing off. Hhahah. Nothing really exciting, just working a lot and screwing off. Shit. I think I just said that… Maybe no one will notice? Ahahaha! I’m suffering a bit from sleep deprivation. It’s alright tho cuzz sleep deprivation can be hilarious. Completely amusing at times. Well, maybe it’s only amusing because I’m sleep deprived? Sleep deprivation can be useful.  Shit. How many times have I said ‘sleep deprivation’……?….I’m sure no one will notice. There is one thing for sure – there isn’t anything more funny at 2:30 in the morning.. than Pussycorns. Ohhh yeah, you read that correctly. Be glad I don’t have your phone numbers people, because when I get crazy tired – I do things like harass my friends with horrid FB stickers. .

The blue is me…..

Onetwo

threefour

Yeah, people. Be glad your aren’t on my contact list. That was the night I realized FB had horrible stickers. This is only part of the convo…I think I went on and on….hahaha. I was so tried and so amused with my friend’s responses that I think I might have pulled something laughing.

Seriously. Pulled. Something. Laughing.

Friggen Pussycorns.

Gosh, I have such ridiculous crap in my phone. I just went looking for something and ..instead found…

 THIS.

WHAT. THE. HELL?

and REALLY – I have no idea why this is in my phone…..Sleep deprivations, I tell ya…..

who

Horrifying.

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Now, this one I do remember.

You’re welcome.

batman

Hahahahah! Did you miss me? LMAO. You know you did.

I need to go lay down, and try to refrain from spamming my friends with terrifying FB stickers. .

Catriona

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Stuff my stocking…

I’ve been thinking extensively about the coming holidays (boobs).

I just love the holidays (boobs).

When I think about the holidays – I think of family, good food, beautiful atmosphere, hand crafted gifts, and crazy relatives being complete and just utter jackholes (boobs).

I’m so far behind in the whole Xmas shopping/making things, thing. That’s almost unheard of for me. I need to get on that shit, like, stat.

You know, I’ve received some pretty epic holiday gifts over the years. Some …wayyyyy more ridiculous than others. For example – several years ago Santa left this, and only this, in my stocking….

Do you know what this is?

Hint: it’s not a scoop of ice cream.

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Still not sure?

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Yeah. That’s right. Santa gave me boobs for Christmas. A brand new pair of boobs.

He’s so flippin’ thoughtful.

He really does know everything about me!

I mean, I know I have the chest of an 11 year old boy, I’m good with that. But I was unaware that Santa had boobdar in his arsenal of special skills.

I keep them in my dresser next to that ugly sweater you gave me. I’ve never actually used my boobs for anything other than Halloween, but I love the fact that I have boobs, in my drawers.

What kinds of weird items has Santa given you guys? I think I need to know.

Catriona

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You guys are WEIRD. (Warning: content was made in a facility that uses clowns)

You all will like a post about me molesting a (plastic) owl’s butt for the pleasure of my lips (gloss), but if I even mention CLOWNS –  only a few of you like it. Hahahhaha I know you guys saw it. I’m a stalker like that. HAHHAHHAHAHA. No seriously. But, it’s OK. I understand. lmao.

If you have used your eye holes, you will see I’ve attached a warning to my title. This is not only because it amuses me – but because a follower of mine expressed a true phobia of clowns. I ❤ my followers. (You may also want to stay away from my twitter for a few more days if you don’t do clowns well…..)

The Northampton clown has promised something big for the end of the week people! I can’t wait!

Ok Ok oOOOooooooK..so enough about clowns.

Oh damn, I hear work calling my name. . . .

Catriona

 

 

 

 

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Butt – Gloss

Yeah, I get my gloss from the butt of a blue owl. Don’t judge me.

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The first time I ever saw one of these was in a Pier 1. I remember being shocked; “Is the gloss in his BUTT?” I asked the cashier. She very quickly gave me a judgmental look and explained in a condescending tone that “she didn’t think so.”

Bitch lied.

My sister gave me one. If you want lip gloss – be prepared to be digging in his butt for it.

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That’s all I got, Butt-Gloss.

Catriona

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Dump W-day

Yeah I’m dumpin’ don’t judge me.

I have some ridiculous crap that I am gonna dump allllll over you. …

Hold on to your panties, this is going to get interesting. .

I FRIGGEN LOVE THIS. HAHAHHAHA!! I love the MOFO’in BunnyRaptor!!!!  I LOVE THE BUNNYRAPTOR!

totally

This just makes me laugh…

vagina 3

Ummmmmm……..hmmmmmmm…….I’m sorta upset I don’t get these kinda spiders in my house. ..

spinder

WILL SOMEONE TELL ME, PLEASE, WHAT IN THE BLUE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!

cac

cat holly

HAHAHAHHAHAHHA!!!!!

kitty pants

I will leave you with that.

Catriona

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