Category Archives: Uncategorized

Annnnnd I swear I’m not a crackhead

Hi guys,  I have no Internet where I am so writing/posting /life is hard. 

A quick update: my Grandmother is not ok. I can’t go into it, and I will fill you in when I can.  But,  what I can say is I am full time caregiver of my Grandmother.  She is getting a divorce, and I have managed to get a place for all three of us to stay for the next few months until I can get first,  last,  and security for a place that will fit us all. I am Miles/HOURS away from the town and life I knew,  as to keep my Gram safe. 

At this moment,  I have no place to go in four months, have another dependant,  and yet to get enough funding to secure a permanent place, SMH.

My Gram’s Divorce is a NIGHTMARE. Nightmare.  I can’t even begin to explain.

I feel like a ping bong ball,  and I swear I donno which way I am going.  I just pray that I can get the money for a place soon.

I’m in this sleepy little town alone with my Gram and kid. Thank the stars I can walk to most places as Gram doesn’t drive,  and neither do I.  She’s not functioning,  so I’m it.  Just me.  I love her so much. I just hope she recovers  from all of this. 

So,  I went to the little market about 25 mins down the road.  I grabbed the fruit, bacon, and Jam that I needed,  asked the cashier to put my items in plastic,  then in paper,  as it was so hot out,  and off for home I went. 

So,  I am walking home,  it’s so hot I can feel my mascara sticking to itself,  and my phone rings. I answer it,  and I am talking trying to jungle the phone,  and this giant damn paper bag while making my way down the road….. And then my flip flop rips apart. I kid you not, this thing just exploded,  there was no saving it.  It looked like I stepped on land mine.  I’m twenty mins from home,  walking bare foot in a small town,  carrying a bag that I am sure looked like beer, sweat pouring into my eyes to the point that I could not see,  my mascara turning into toothpaste on my eyelids causing me to twitch,  talking on the phone,  all the while trying to cross the one and only crosswalk, pretending I don’t know I look like a complete and utter homeless crackhead.  Hahahahah.

I’ve been here less than a week and I’m already making a fantastic impression. Lmao. 

Really,  I swear sleepy town,  I’m a hot mess,  but not THAT kind..

I just want to reach out to ALL of you that have been so wonderful to me. I’ve received notes and emails just checking in.  It means the friggen world to me.  I’ve received e-cards and even  a life like portrait someone drew of me that I CANNOT wait to share.  It’s so flippin beautiful. I will be sharing that as soon as I can get to a place with Internet to properly link and showoff,  and stuff. 

Just.  Thank you,  all.  I WILL respond to all of you,  like always.  Just give me a few.  I’m working threw my phone only,  and it’s a bitch.  I just typed this all on my phone.. My thumbs hurt.  Lol

I love and hug you all.  All the time. 
Xoxoxox
Catriona

Accidental Social Experiment

I don’t believe in being wasteful.

So, it shouldn’t be a surprise that from time to time I use my son’s old, raggedy ass, kick you in the face Bright Orange school bag (if you knew me, you would know that Orange is not my color, annnnnd you would die laughing). I mostly use it because it has the BEST laptop pocket, ever. Anyway. So, this morning I grabbed it, dumped the contents of my purse in, grabbed my laptop, and out the door I went with my son.

We hopped the bus, I dropped my son off at school and I hit the bakery. I was low on cash so I skipped coffee and got a doughnut (to lessen the Parkour going on in my stomach due to meds)……only to be surprised by free coffee – cream already in it and everything! YES! I could have kissed my coffee guy.

Annnnnnd then I left the bakery…. it didn’t take long for um, weird dudes thinking I was a High School girl to try to pick me up. I get that I am small framed, I was wearing glasses, and a backpack – OK. but I don’t REALLY look THAT young. But, lets get back to the several different OLD guys, in several different areas trying to pick me up, because I looked like a teenager?! One was in a company truck and NAMED the School he thought I went to. Even sighted that he spotted me across town (and was accurate). WHAT? Now, if I were a High School girl I am sure I would have been terrified. TERRIFIED. This dude spotted me across town – did he follow me, or did he just happen to be in the same two places I was in several hours?? Now, I am an adult, and I will hand ANYONE their ass if they come near me, BUT if I’m being treated this way – WHAT ABOUT REAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS?!

I ended the day disgusted with humanity. I’m lugging around my 8 year old, ten pound Dino of a laptop in my son’s beaten up backpack so I can attend a meeting I’d rather throw myself off a building than attend, and these sausages want to pick me up because I look like young meat? FUCK THAT, where’s Lorena Bobbitt when you need her?! I better not catch any dude even looking at young girls. WHERE THE HELL IS MY BAT? The world should breath a sigh of relief that I have a son, NOT a daughter.

Pervy, pervy World.

UGH. I need to go scrub with bleach.

XOXOXO

Catriona

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Beeping Beeper

Son “Mom, mom. There’s beeping in my room.”

Coffee Fiend“What?”

Son “Beeping. THERE’S BEEPING.”

Coffee Fiend“Beeping?”

Son “BEEPING. I. can’t. sleep. with. the. annoying. BEEPING.”

Coffee Fiend “Ok, ok. Let’s go.”

Son “THE BEEPING.”

Coffee Fiend “Yes, yes lets go find it.”

Son“Kill it.”

Coffee Fiend“Not a problem dear. I generally kill things that wake me at 4:30am, anyway.”

Son*Giggles*

So, I stumbled out of bed and out of my room to find the beeping. It was my office. My friggen office was beeping at 4:30am. My battery backup was having a friggen seizure. Sigh.

I killed the beeper, my child cheered, and I stumbled back to my room…only to come horrifyingly close to stepping in the largest pile of dog puke I’ve ever seen.  (You know you wanted to know that last part.)

Beeping and dog puke. That’s all I got people.

Oh. OH, OH. No, No no no! I have something else. Something exciting:

I have COLORED googly eyes!!   oooooooooooyea

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Heh.

Catriona

 

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Oh the smell…….

I’ve had my windows open for days.

Today, I woke up to the smell of someone using their wood stove. The air was crisp and for a moment, before I opened my eyes, I thought I was home. It was wonderful until the dog chased the cat into the room, onto the bed, and over my head in a flurry of tails and claws. .

 

October is almost over, sigh. It’s my favorite month.

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OH and before I forget! DO NOT EAT THE MONOPOLY GUMMIE CANDY.

Just don’t do it.

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Yeah, that’s all I got. I’ve sort of forgotten what I came here to write about. …

Catriona

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Undercover beotch

That’s right. I’m under cover. . As in; in bed with the covers over my head. Don’t ask me why! Its none yo! Hah. Freaks.

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