Coulrophobia and Honey Holes (Caution: Clowns ahead)

Can you say the word “Coulrophobia”?

Cuzz I can’t. Nope.

I can read it, I can spell it, I even know what it means! Buttttt I cannot verbalize it with out sounding like I just woke up, still drunk from a hot-mess-of-a-week-long-binge.

If you are unfamiliar with the the word; it’s an extreme fear of Clowns. I can’t tell you the statistics on Coulrophobia (I can tell you that Auto correct doesn’t like the word at all. Maybe it suffers from Coulrophobia?… ), but I can tell you more often than not – people react negativity when faced with even the image of a clown. I should know, my childhood bedroom was completely covered, right down to the bedspread, in clowns. (That bedspread had ruffles, like, A LOT of ruffles, btw. I friggen hated ruffles,  but somehow is was totally ok because it was clown themed.) Reactions are fascinating, especially to clowns. More people went running in terror from my childhood bedroom then they do now. hahaha. . and that’s saying something.. Bahahahahah…

Is it just me, or are more people getting rid of more clown stuff, at a faster rate, than they ever used to? I looooove thrift shops, and I have to say I have seen more second hand clown items pop up in shops within the last year, then EVER before. I look for clown stuff…so, yeah, I’d know. Hhahahaha It’s too bad I don’t decorate with clown items as much as I used to. haha.

Side note* –  have you ever been writing at your desk, just mindlessly jamming out to a random song, when alllllll of a sudden you realize the lyrics of said song are a grown man purring about “licking a loli pop” annnnnnnnd you come to a FULL stop? No? Well, that just happen to me. haa. I hate when lyrics kill a perfectly good beat.

Clowns are all over these days.  The Northampton Clown has a book out (wow), and there’s some gun wielding clown now (I’m not surprised, are you?), and that’s not even the half of it. I confess.. I just can’t get enough. I recently stumbled upon, crazy interesting. All sorts of tid bits that will make you wanna pee your pants (if you suffer from Coulrophobia that is). Ha…..

Oh my stars! I have to interrupt this crazy Clown rambling to tell you that I have been on the phone with my boss for almost 20 mins, and within those 20 mins she has used the phrase “Honey Hole” AT LEASE 7 times, YES I was counting, and OH MY STARS IT HAS TAKEN ALL I HAVE NOT TO BURST INTO LAUGHTER. BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! She just said it again! BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH! Does she not hear herself?! OMG someone please, PLEASE send this woman a link to Urban Dictionary, STAT! I am trying so, SO hard to keep a straight face and serious tone. BAHAHAHAHAHAH! She Just said it again. IS SHE MESSING WITH ME?! She has got to be messing with me. AHAHAHAHAHA! Holy CRAP BATMAN! She actually just uttered the sentence: “Well, we are all after the Honey Hole” OMG SERIOUSLY?! Is she drunk? She’s got to be drunk! FUCK, AM I DRUNK?! I cannot take it. She is as serious as she could be, just working that into the convo. I have a whole new respect for this chick. “It’s my job to help you find your Honey Hole.” OH, OH wow. No joke, that was just said to me. I have spent this whole convo with my hand clamped firmly over my mouth trying, desperately, not to laugh in her eye. Oh man, I’m so glad that’s over. ahaha wow. Just, wow.

I want to take this time to thank my bladder. Thank you bladder, for being stronger than I give you credit for. I surely would have peed myself, had you been as weak as I tell people you are. For realz. Peed. Myself. In. Laughter. So, thank you blatter for being there for me. I’ll try to treat you better going forward.

I am completely in awe of that convo, and am unable to continue to ramble about Clowns. HAHHA. I cannot even go back and proof read. You will have to just. Deal.


Honey Hole!


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22 thoughts on “Coulrophobia and Honey Holes (Caution: Clowns ahead)

  1. Phil Taylor says:

    You my dear have the Honey Hole of all blogs.

  2. Morguie says:

    OMG girl, where you been??? I missed you! I see you are in top form…and wth gives with that boss? Whatever was she talking about that she felt it necessary to give guidance about how you could find your lost honeyhole?? What kind of work are you doing??? Are you back on that ho’ corner, downtown? I’d come down there to kick your ass but I am too busy looking for my lost tentacles again…things got a little crazy last night…
    Anyhoo, nice to see you are still in the land of the living…drop by and say hi at my blog sometime…Ciao!

  3. garden98110 says:

    Dear Coulrophobic. Please accept our sincere wishes for speedy recovery. Remember, lots of people will want to cure you. Some may offer you this service instantly for a small fortune. We think coulrophobia is no laughing matter. The most serious things are not things. We find them unexpectedly on the doorstep of our character like orphans belonging to us. There is no sense making a child feel worse by denying their parentage. Accept the gifts you are offered. This attitude is superior to feeling like a thief who has stolen a quirk to look original. In our opinion. And in your situation, healing is a path that permits no clowning around. Sorry. It is likely for your best. – The Healing Garden gardener

  4. Von Simeon says:

    The best stream of consciousness work yet!

  5. justteejay says:

    dammit Phil Taylor beat me to it – I can’t top that. Fortunately I CAN laugh like an idiot at work – because that was priceless!

  6. Miss Lizzy says:

    Your stronger than I am, I would have broke down and told her. lol

  7. Found you (and dare I say, “your hole”) through honey (Shelley) above. Your stream of consciousness blog need more frequent posts. Seriously. Then I’d have chronic rather than acute bladder issues. Yours in cults,…

  8. Phil Taylor says:

    You might enjoy this. It’s my post on Coulrophobia from August 2006 :

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