My penis can’t hear you

I think I’ve eaten way too many Jolly ranchers. Whoa.

So, does anyone else find it interesting that I received these spammy messages about Viagra  on a post entitled “BRING ON THE CHLAMYDIA!“….? Notice the comment is attached to a picture of a stuffed STD.

Clap

Good game spammers, good game.

Speaking of which –  WHY do I ALWAYS get sexual spam meant for dudes? Why? I want sexual chick spam, gosh darn it! If you are going to spam me, appeal to vagina! My penis can’t hear you. Trust me.

Also, I just learned something I’d like to share with all of you. A few of you in particular. Read carefully because it’s important and rather apparent from some of the messages I get that you guys didn’t know this particular shred of info either.

Screenshot_2013-10-11-18-42-03_1

My grandmother asked me what I wanted for xmas as I was leaving her house yesterday. I was headed out the front door at the time and just sorta turned back to yell that I wanted an STD or two, and that I would send her the website for them when I got a chance. As I turned back to continue I almost ran over the postman who was apparently about to knock on the door. He had this look on his face like he was going to die right on the spot. I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders and kept walking. I heard my gram greet him and laugh “That’s my granddaughter. She’s special you know.”

I’m pretty sure that guy was thinking the exact same thing, grams.

Catriona

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25 thoughts on “My penis can’t hear you

  1. Phil Taylor says:

    Yup, “special.” That about says it all.

  2. duncanr says:

    i’m sure he was ! 😉

  3. Keep quoting me on your blog and I’ll have to sue.

  4. You clearly have never had one…..And I mean that with zero snark.
    I recommend an interest in musicians, not that I am speaking from personal experience or anything if you’re serious about the whole STD experience. May your experiment end with something curable by antibiotics.
    San

  5. I understand the easiest place in the US to GET an STD is The Villages retirement community in Central Florida – what does THAT say about the success of Viagra spam?!?!?!

  6. My phone really doesn’t like me liking posts as my blog for some reason!? Funny post, made me smile on my home on the bus! The weather is post-apocalyptic 😦

  7. eating a woman’s brain sounds like a convincing if slightly unorthodox way to show the extent of one’s love.

  8. by the way, thanks for liking my blog post!

  9. mikesteeden says:

    And there was me thinking Planet Zorg had disappeared into a Black Hole somewhere south of Ealing. Good stuff!

  10. codewordyellow says:

    Your posts are just plain awesome! I have really enjoyed reading your titles and wondering what your post could possibly by about. Love your grandma’s comment too, she sounds feisty!

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