HEY, Can’t you see I’m drooling here?!

Yeah, Hi. Good Morning.

I despise morning. Who ever invented mornings should be taken out back and shot. In the knee caps. Then, tied to an angry cow. Yeah, I said it. You know you were thinking it. Anrgry.Mother.Fuckin’.Cow.

Have you ever had one of those mornings where you sit in the other room listening to what you strongly HOPE is the coffee dripping into the cup, and not the floor, and wonder…..am I going to have to lick my coffee from the floor, agian… damn…… At home, I don’t have this issue because I use a coffee press not a mofoin’ one cup Keurig thingie. Evil Keurig. FUCK YOU KEURIG.

I’m getting old. I think I will pick up knitting. I think my first attempt at knitting will be a Penis Sock. Xmas is just around the corner and since a lot of people I love happen to own a penis – I need  to get going. The problem here is how does one go about deciding the size of the sock needed?……yeah, think about that one for a min.

Alright, I am off….heh….

 

Catriona

 

 

 

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11 thoughts on “HEY, Can’t you see I’m drooling here?!

  1. rosesigner says:

    Oh. My. Hell. You made me laugh. Thank you.

  2. Jess says:

    You make me laugh a whole lot, too. And, I don’t know, as long as I have a stiff coffee, I kinda enjoy mornings. (Don’t judge me, ok) =)

  3. Captain Erratic says:

    One size fits all!

  4. But, But, BUT. ONE SIZE NEVER FITS ALL.

  5. duncanr says:

    make them all ‘extra large’ – I guarantee no man you gift them to is going to admit they don’t fit 😆

  6. Ankur Mithal says:

    What might you expect/want as a return gift?

  7. CJ says:

    I have been unsuccessfully lobbying for a grant to fund the mission of blasting that big-ass bright orb (the sun) into oblivion with a nuclear warhead…if it ever gets the “ok” I will suggest that the trajectory include Keurig company, those market-monopolizing bastards! Keurig has made my Tassimo into a miserable dinosaur and the pods for it have now become extinct or near-extinct.
    The penis-sock sizing dilemma…size small will fit everyone, for sure. So just make it from stretchy material just in case some guy really does need a “scosch more room.” Don’t ask me why, but do trust me on that. 😉

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